Just because I could yesterday...

I’ve be thinking about this a lot lately. There’s a lot of confusion regarding this topic. People will assume that if you are able to something one day, then you must be fine and maybe your illness isn't "that bad". With chronic illness you’re always living on a day by day basis. I could wake up feeling amazing. Workout, clean the house, go to work, grab dinner with friends and feel pretty good. But that doesn’t mean I’m not in pain or that “I must be better”. That just means I was strong enough today to push through and do all of those things DESPITE my chronic illness.

Doing all of those things might lead to a flare up and now I’m trying to sleep but my stomach is swollen 3x it’s normal size and my whole body aches. I've taken 4 Tylenol extra strength because my doctors don't want me addicted to pain medication. I drank two cups of anti-inflammatory tea, I have a heating pad on & every time I move feels like growing pains which makes it impossible to fall asleep. I toss & turn all night, my partner is distraught that I'm in so much pain.

I wake up exhausted, fatigued, and unable to get out of bed. My ankles are swollen, my head hurts and I have intestinal muscle spasms. I can't move. But I have to. I still have to work, cook, clean, pay bills, have relationships all while in unimaginable pain.

No day is promised and unfortunately when your dealing with a chronic illness every day is different and there’s no predicting how you’ll feel every morning.